Beth1Dxo: MY DAD ALMOST RAN OVER KEVIN WITH THE CAR! OH SNAP!

Jafar_Aima: What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar? OH SNaP!

Agatha_Paglio: no it's not you, it's me. I was obviously drunk and blind during this entire relationship. oh snap! #teamfollowback

MayaRubinstain: This time tomorrow ill be doing a biology exam. Oh snap

SingItForHiatus: TREVOR WANTS MY BODY! OH SNAP!

kalam98: Yo mamma so smelly she got put in a tip

andicresta: Yo mamma so fat she broke your family tree.

xoxojamie_bruh: Yo mamma so ugly, she got arrested for mooning when she looked out a window . Ha

Joshh1274: If you still make yo mamma jokes get off twitter #noneedforthatnonsense

tbrucey13: Yu mutha Fuckers wudd sware to God... Put it on yo Baby... Dead relatives... and yo Mamma. And b str8 #LYING "13

HSaltersJ: And boom goes the dynamite....

T_Minder: And boom goes the dynamite! =D

jbarnaby24: Boom goes the dynamite. Clockin out. #zzz

emmyraesprow: annnd,,, BOOM goes the dynamite

emmyraesprow: anddddd BOOM goes the dynamite!!

WomanSwag: Get to know me, not what's in my pants. #horny little boys.

Mr_SoloPolo: Bag full of cans an 10 dollars in my pants

StylesTahneia: My friend Rachel: I put kids in my pants sometimes sayin ay-oh im a pedo( tune of dynamite) :/

jellybabyjuice: 'I had ants in my pants I did the boogy dance' >.<

xImSoDope_: Just found ants in my pants :O !

Jaydi007: #np I need a hug_R. Kelly

pdxbear84: I'm a broken bear and I hope I feel better tomorrow, I need a hug :(

zayouna97: I feel like I need a hug right now!

NayaRiveraRiot: I can't sleep.. I'm cold I need a hug :(

____JJWSIMI: Right now I need a hug a talk and everything. I need somebody .

nisasuarez: if only camp wasn't tomorrow. HIYAK DUSH. PEW PEW PEW. BANG TEBABOOSH. haha ok sorry.

ElusiveFlowJo: Pew Pew cat RT'd my Pew Pew Tweet.. How Sweet..

ElusiveFlowJo: *Cocks Gun* *Aims* PEW PEW...

iAmBridgeet: I feel like that dam bullet-vest is still on me. Pew Pew!

Kathw1201: Nothing like a Halo session to relax and relieve frustrations after a day of report writing pew pew #halo #reportshurtmybrain

tee_thebadest: Yall should play monopoly deal its fun

BadaBoomPow: I wanna play Monopoly :(

Swallow_Please: Niggas acting like idk how to play monopoly

khamiyah: I like you, you like me, so why not we go in the room and.... play monopoly :D

Im__Just__Me: Who's bold enough to swing by the crib at 1:06 in the morning? Play some monopoly or sum lol

mikejjennings: He just did a fist bump to his date when she was leaving. A GROWN MAN.

habilney: "We actually started an urban legend." "That's dope!" *fist bump*

ayyyitsnick: Told some dude in a cubs hat that I hated the cubs. He gave me a fist bump.....

OwlieBird: One of my colleagues and I have a morning fist bump. In miserable solidarity. Don't jalus.

Zach_in_Black: Weak azz fist bump. I'm bout to hug the shit out of somebody the next time I see her :P

mariahONfiyyah: keep ya pimp hand strong

_JasmineCox: Wide Awake with bestfrann. Keeping the pimp hand strong.

BlizzBalla: You gotta keep your pimp hand strong these days.

Pimp_Hand: Chat with singles in your area now! http://bit.ly/fYP0R1

__ALEGNA_: I do hand crunches to strengthen my pimp hand cuz that's how I do

THEyenhoang: Good news everyone. It's just a spider bite. #spiderman??

albatron22: Good news everyone, baby Mia likes SOJA and the Green

RShcherbakoff: good news everyone! I have went sleep! So, have a good time!! see you! :)

TCMcG: Good news, everyone: no dismemberment tonight!

shanecutrufello: Good news, everyone! You're probably reading this in a Farnsworth voice!

bitchahontas: i need to start back masturbating every day..i am in such a happy mood already

EenhoornJoost: EVERYDAY IM MASTURBATING!!!

GrownUpHoe: why ya'll wanna go home interclass games so fucken fun its like masturbating but a sweaty mess

dukelongboard: I'm worried that I'm not masturbating in a fetal position inside large see-through spheres as often as I should be

DearWayne: I could never trust anyone there. Everyone is too busy bitching, gossiping, fighting and masturbating.

bamfwithdreads: Are we really gonna talk about my parents "doing it"? A little respect would be nice.

DevenChampaneri: #TheAwkwardMoment when you catch your parents doing it on the floor

COCKYASSTAQUAN_: S/0 2 the single parents doing it I fucks with you on some real shit

ashleyyemm: I think I just heard my parents doing it #Traumatized #GrossedOut

sintheyaa: No one cares if other people talk shit about them, but when you hear your parents doing it, that's effffed up.