ohsnapattack
TheRealBigPappa: Oh Snap! Final Exams this morning! Then free for a few weeks!
Loganw2324: Oh snap the #Xgames start 2day here in los angeles...1 of my favorite random sports events
retak: Oh snap, I just thought of a cute twitter-inspired illustration to do.
Cashhman_: oh snap, I jus peeped dat I actuallyy GAINED two followers instead of losing two like I said I would last night.
TheDAVECAST: oh snap, i smell an adventure, a return of the jedi
YourMomIs
5thWardMarcus: Yo Mamma so fat when da doctor showed her a picture of her feet she couldn't identify em!!
Luke_andrew: Your mom is so fat they showed her a picture of her feet and she said she couldn't identify them lol I love this show.
dyaspora: lmbo at these yo mamma jokes on the Fresh Prince
mechalena: Yo mamma
marco1110: Yo mamma so ugly when she was born, your grandmother said, What a treasure! and your grandfather said, Yea lets go bury it
MilfHunt
Stealthdaybe: OMG! What a MILF wish she could be my Cougar 4 2niteeee(lil wayne voice) she had some perky #boobies
pun66: I want a milf! A bitch to pay my bills
MarcSarte: Best way to start your day? With a good cup of milf.
MzRemy860: Milf lol
Shibuya_Enjin: Isla Fisher is a quality MILF
thedynamite
thaproffessor: And boom goes the dynamite...
TheKentertainer: And #Boom goes the dynamite.
one21gunsrpeb: Boom goes the dynamite
ofMcKenzie: Boom goes the dynamite
chachachandler: Chuck Collins: BOOM goes the dynamite.
looreview
Glitzvonwinkle: This bathroom is so messy. #Tweetingonthetoilet
TashaSoSassy: There is mad soap all over this bathroom...... And they choose to use MY soap.... This shit cost me $5 for one bar
SplinkyG: That was the third baby centipede I saw in this bathroom since last night. They live in the walls...
teageehbee: I guess my Mom thought it was to cold to smoke outside b/c it smells like STRAIGHT weed in this bathroom! Lmfao!
E_fuckin_NASTY: Haha Hotboxin in this bathroom is hella funny.
High5Machine
Acorn_BP: In the #pioneer in Crosby waiting for the King of the High Five Mr Jim Petafi. Who's been high fived by Jim? Hands Up?
Turtlepenguin: THREE O'CLOCK HIGH FIVE
wewehuggs: As tupac said...in the locker room all the homies do is laugh, high 5's cuz another dude played ya ass... #dumbbitches
SMiester: Just found out my pops is back in jail. The streets are a little safer. High five!
Jooyli: high five, high low TOO SLOW
WhatAHo
06APE: Turning a ho into a housewife, or a goon into a gentleman #dontcountonit
SdotMau: Ud rather fuck a ho in a reebok velour?
iemws: cause you are a HO big HO, not my sister #bahbah
YoungZae707: hoes these days... act llike a ho ima treat u like one.
msrahmat: You're like a gigolo and I look like nothin but a ho.
MeeSoHorny
Mitchiecansexu: It's rainy here N I so horny
sxclilkerri: is so horny any one up for web sex if so just message me xxxxx plz xxxx ;)
KinkySecretary: God I wish someone would fuck me. I'm so horny
SBLOWMEZ: YOU SO HORNY!!1!!1!!1!
mr_p3rf3ct1: Y am I so horny???? Its 5 am
LoveMyNuts
SlickEscobar: you tlk about your money..i just like lettin my nuts hang.
imGonnaStayHigh: you're gonna love my nuts
EvRyThNg_U_nEeD: You're gonna love my nuts - #SlapChop guy
RPratt21: Young based god my nuts like raisins
-R.Pratt#21
ebartz: I almost walked my nuts into a bike rack thingy. #bulletdodged
Hugasaurus
JBiebInUSAFan: ...i need a hug from the one i love... ?
ownedcorey: i think i need a hug. :(
khansarzky: I need a hug from someone
ActuallyCJG: WHY AM I WATCHING THIS. I think I need a hug. Oh my god.
PSizePinup: Omg. sexual harassment! I feel icky. I need a hug :/
p3wp3w
nadzirah: I swear there are at least a thousand stray cats living downstairs glaring at me with their pew pew laser eyes.
MyDiddyBop: Pew pew the swag just left the room
Leeann_nicole: Going to Warped Tour soon. I NEED some damn coffee, or someone is getting shot. Pew pew.
RawrimLise: Pew pew pew pew pew pew pew
TeamBillieJoeGD: PEW PEW
FourSale
benjaminburrows: 17 inch MacBook pro for sale. 4GB of RAM, 320GB hard drive, antiglare screen in mint condition!! $1300.00
J0sephCorpuz: bougth a not for sale book for 120 pesos at booksale. ( steve berry: The amber room, advance reading copy) good read
AceBoOGaVeLL: BB for sale $60 hit me up
callezee: Callezee-Maruti Esteem LX 2000 model for sale at RS.1,26,000.Call +91-90134 41644 to buy.Have a nice day :)
JordanDDorsey: Wasup tweets iPhone 3gs for sale top bitch condition...
MonopoBot
ccottoncandy: having fun with my friend^^ now gonna play monopoly~ yay !!
iJamieryan: Staying back in school to play monopoly deal lol.
lov3_nut3lla: wants to play Monopoly ! :(
danamuhnaynah: All i wanna do is stay in bed and play monopoly. Ngaum ngaum
spaceninja87: A goal of mind is to play Monopoly wit real Money My Money #random
HireMeee
LoveThySole: I need a job i bought so many things these past few days since i came back and now im broke -_-
SHUGABEAR09: ii need a job.. anyone kno anybodie hiring?
jendubz: i should send a mass e-mail to every employer i can think of with my resume saying HIRE ME! lol
AshleyBossQueen: I'm trynna work with my momma I'm asking to make her peeps hire me
BLONDEBROWNI07: THEIR IS REALLY NO ONE HERE!!! LOL THEY BETTER HIRE ME! GOOD THING I'M LOOKIN GOOD TODAY MUWAHAHAHAHAHA
FistMe
simple33: People who do the fist bump instead of shaking my hand..annoy the piss outta me
BillBraskySOB: I gave a window-fist-bump to a man on death row to say thanks for taking the wrap for killing those hookers, buddy.
BarackParty: I know 9 out of 10 people about to shake my hand, didnt wash theirs. Is it rude to fist bump government officials?
Ludiker: My daughter just did her first official fist bump...I'm so very proud...*tear*
hereslizz: ?:: Where a ONE letter typo makes a world of difference in meaning-- Fist bum instead of fist bump. Oops.
LikeABosssss
Nobodychan: Oh god, gamewhoring LIKE A BOSS.
auliawilliams: She walks like a boss, talks like a boss.
discardoursouls: Just mailed the rest of my letters. Like a boss
Kidclueserious: Good mornin tweepeoples...im late as shit but when u somethin like a boss u can do that... lol
kayteesometimes: I'm just talking to him like a boss.
redrumyou
EmilyAtPitt: I'm gonna decorate my lanyard I'm gonna kill you in the face
GAPeach0122: Sorry I had to kill you Mr. Cricket. I tried to set you free 2 days in a row, but you wldn't let me, so I had no choice.
riesma: (cont) Dat klinkt als Hot Shot! Part Deux: I'm gonna kill you, untill you die from it. #lol + #fail = #lolfail
Glamorous33: I'm going to kill you erika! Can't believe she woke me up early! Ugh mad
amelook: I'm ready to kill you
am_iRight
danielleruckus: It always rains on Movies on the Block Nights. Am I right or am I right? #pvd
SyaaDarysn: Am I wrong if I need your attention?I just need your time...not all but not like this too!
LibrarianJP: NJ Lingo 101: Jersey Shore is a TV show, Down the Shore a location. #amiright? #fb
23spicer: so i heard terrel owens was goin to cincinati am i right
NJOIDAVIEW: Am I wrong for wanting Nikki Menage to be stoned. She just not that Hot to me.
JavaManStan
olivvejuice: I'm awake for the first time in a long time..i need coffee
Gabfknoriginal: I really need coffee.
brittyvaldez: Completely and Utterly exhausted. Today is going to be a rough one for me. Coffee, Coffee, Where fore art thou coffee?
mruku: Now, I need coffee and biscuits. I have Bourbons. I am happy about this.
bradkellyfilms: Altitude headache. Or do I just REALLY need coffee.
Pimp_Hand
BigDogBo: Morning! Put your pimp-hand in, you pull your pimp-hand out, you put your pimp-hand in, and slap Thursday all about! HOLLA!
NiyAshanti: Poppin' down my collar , cause my pimp hand strong ;) aha . Btw , morning yall ?
HighClassDoggie: my pimp hand is getting stronger
SmokeItEazy: Violation BITch!! , u get tha pimp hand , . . . . .SMaccet !! 8-)
SexyDoll360: My pimp hand is itching right now...
HJ_Farnsworth
andrii: Good news everyone! I'm in Kyiv :)
mrcivlib: Good news everyone! I've invented a machine that makes you read this in my voice!
WarHamster: Good news everyone!! I've developed a way to make you read this in PP voice.. :D
j3ster_izz_back: Good news everyone Justin Bieber and the Twilight saga came out of the closet today!
bieberbreakdown: GOOD NEWS EVERYONE: kristen is in a good mood because she had pasta. hooray! :|
TwatBlock
everyday420: Females.. Do you think all your followers came from you being well liked? No.. It's cause you have a vagina.
_TiffanyAndCo: Call it what ya call it, pussy, pum pum, or vagina .
TwatMuffins: nahh twat muffins is too old. i dont feel happy with this as my name. :(
CarlyEchelon: HE'S MORE OF A FAKE THAN JARED STUPID TWAT!
arsalysfin: Fuck you , don't talk about my country if you didn't knw shit about it ,twat
fapcop
imaginaryreview: I wrote one of those letters to my 16-year-old self things, but I was too busy masturbating to read it.
shiddough: Zomg everyone is fapping over my oppar. BRB WHILE I DIGITAL BOUNCE WITH HIM~~~
jermaineFOWLER: The producer just told me to take a load off. It'd be funny if I just started masturbating haha
ancientanubis: Most people sleep their way to the top.... I'm masturbating my way to the bottom
Kay_Tofu: Hands up if you've ever been caught masturbating!